Eden

There is light in front of me, yet I enjoy the comfort of your shades. We have been through so much together; this forest and I. At times I thought I was outgrowing it, for it became as familiar as my own pockets. But then you decide to surprise me with the roads I hadn’t thought I had not taken. Every turn remain as mysterious as when we first met. For the H Spirit had inspired me many times here; therefore, you might as well be a magical forest. How I love every shape of you. For almost two years you have been my home. I don’t think I have stayed anywhere as long since I graduated. When life surprised me in ways I could never imagine. Choosing to stand at the right side of history, just have to walk the stories first.

I suppose one day I shall assemble a photographic album on you.

They say little girls grow up when we start having to make grown up decisions. I had wished my decisions would remain inconsequential for a while. But God happened.

Searching for me between the trees that have outlived me. Without noticing the steps I have taken, the turns I’ve made, and the person you helped me becoming.

“We have a testimony present, but we have not asked her yet,” one of the sisters said. With reason, for the time they asked, I declined. Not ready to put myself out there. But by not becoming whom we are created to be, we become like a tree without life. And you have been helping me to get used to the opinions and judgments of many. The beauty of each individual creation of God and their right to exist irrespective of their differences. We are each called to be His living testimony; for we are the ones who know that He exists.

In the silence of Your forest, the bees and the butterflies and the birds and the dogs coming to say hello. I can feel You everywhere again.

The people too. The trunk of the trees that have fallen, despite the majesticism of what they have once looked. Only because their roots were not firm enough. I therefore am grateful to the ones who are helping me to discern the things I am not (yet) ready to do.

I too am grateful for the timing that allows me to embark upon a new adventure: I am indeed looking for a place with more light, better ventilation, and more environmental friendly use of energy sources. Although sometimes things just happen, without us intending to make any changes, while those changes might just be everything we need. And I find myself having arrived at the road. Unintentionally. Yet necessary. For God never intended for us to hide in the forest forever. It is just a place He gave us to reconnect with.

The Tree

Little tree

Beautiful flowers

Trying to get sunlight

Too many other trees

Bigger trees

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Trying to get bigger, taller

Just so it can touch more sunlight

Just so it can touch the sky

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But they thought it was becoming too wild

It’s not elegant for the tree to grow outside of its lanes

They cut of parts of its branches so it will grow within the space meant for it

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Covered in the shadow of the trees planted in front of it

The tree struggled even more to meet the light

Trying to feel the light, just so it can grow

Just so it can stay alive

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Many years later, the tree did not grow very much bigger

But the flowers continued to bloom beautifully every year

On the small trunk carrying them all

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They continued to cut the branches so the little flowers will look beautiful

If only the tree could grow even bigger, how pretty will the tree of flowers look!

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The storm came and withered the flowers away

But the trunk remained, despite its fragility

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Until the fire after the storm, burned down the remains of the trunk

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Now we have to start all over again, the roots thought

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Despite the lack of sun, despite the storm and the fire, despite the desire of the tree to grow higher and feel its leaves flying in the sky

The tree grew into the ground

Stronger and firmer than any storm could defeat

Nurtured and entangled with all essence of life

~

What is essential is invisible to the eye

It is that very essence that kept the tree alive

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And when there is life…

Meditations II

The glorious vista surrounding me

I felt Your embrace

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How You’ve always given me the best You could give

How You’ve taken away what I needed to become

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The One You intended when You created me

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You shielded me from danger when You put me in the storm

Just to train my character, without allowing me to perish

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Your love, all-encompassing

Like an embrace, thus comforting

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That made me forget, if there was ever another version

Before You

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In the presence of Your silence

You trust me to continue to walk towards You

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Crossing the distractions along the way

As You reached Your hand to me

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And I gave mine to You

Light

Increasing in brightness

Just when I was about to be engulfed by darkness

You reached out Your hand and grasped me tightly

You never once let go, how then can I let go

Everything I am was created by You

Everything I am shall belong to You

Searching for You in the world that does not know You

While You have joined me before I awakened

You shall be One with me henceforth

Nothing I do shall separate me from You

Becoming Me

To bring love and hope into the world with my words. So when you read it you know how immensely loved you are by Our Heavenly Father.

All the love and warmth you feel do not come from me, they come from God. The Light that shines through me.

May all that I do, all that I am, be acceptable as a living sacrifice, all to the glory of God.

It doesn’t matter where I am or where my steps take me, because God chose me knowing the way I am. He created me, after all, out of love. Just like how He created you, out of love.

He never gave us any test we cannot handle. Every experience He planned for us only meant to help us grow, to arrive closer to our completion, so we can find our way back to Him.

Adoramus Coeli

You told me to trust You

You’ll take care of me, like You’ve always done

Everyone You put on my way is to bring me closer to You

And if I want to help You, so You don’t have to care for it all alone, then I should only occupy myself with what makes me happy

Knowing that everything I touch becomes more beautiful, because it makes me happy

And that makes You happy

And that makes me happy

Mission

When you go into the world, my beloved, and you encounter people unfamiliar to Me

Remember that’s My way to tell you that I love you

~

When you respond to them, remember that’s your response to my question:

Do you love Me back?

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And when it gets really challenging

That’s your way to respond, if you’ll remain One with Me

Even when it inconveniences you

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Because everyone you encounter I planned for you

to arrive at your completion

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So everything you do,

and everything you do not do,

shows them that We exist

Wisdom

After my Baptism my Godmother told me, this feeling you cherish, write it down, so you’ll remember when things get tough

My Priest said yesterday, those who walk with Him, are tested more fiercely, because your reward will be greater, at the end

And I think, time passes when flowers grow, but in harsh conditions characters take root. It is easy to be civil towards the civilised, but it says more about our personality when we remain kind towards the unkind.

We are even more alike the image of Him, when we love the ones who lack love the most.

In the meantime, I hope you too shall pray for me.