Sometimes I look things up to remember. The things that made me happy. The things that made me sad. But everything I’m feeling is in what I’m not saying. So I have to read between the lines to remember what I was looking for. 

I know my mind is in complete chaos when I am out of words. It usually takes me a week or two to process. So whenever I am writing, it usually means I am ready to decide. When I found the words to make sense of the confusion certain information had created, or fill in the gaps where lack of information took place. Abstract reasoning was never a challenge, except that there is nothing logical about feelings and emotions. So we put that out of the equation. Just shouldn’t do that for long.

So I am looking at my old writings, of events that had shaped me. Some things that I seem to have forgotten, when I allow repetitions to occur. Although the context is different, although the decision was situationally made, I have recognised a pattern – not one I should continue to let exist.

All the beauty in life are made of shadow and light. But we had looked darkness in the eyes when we made stars to shine. Never forget what you are capable of and what you are worth. If you ever find yourself where your worth is not being recognised, don’t waste another effort but move on to where your presence will be better appreciated. Communicate once if need be, but if you have to, then the allure has been lost already.

Some people can be too demanding, others can be too passive. They are all not the right one, until it fits just right. The same goes with work. Sometimes I meet someone and I know they’ve welcomed me home. Other times we know, we are just passing time because this experience too will make us more and more us. Closer to what we want and teaches us not to settle with what we don’t want.

Be grateful to all that life has to offer. It’s beauty lies in our eyes.

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