Recently, someone told me that I am too cold. That I am emotionally unavailable. That I am hard to read.
I told that person it is the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me, though I don’t think I earned it.
Truth be told, the conversation had upset me more than I wanted to admit. It created quite some emotional turbulence, where I since have acted outside of my modus operandi. I only became aware of it now I am writing this with a smile on my face.
Friends like us are a blessing to our lives. I have been blessed with quite a number of them – though they are spread all over the world, but the connection we share across space and time. I have been lucky to start my day with one of the Joy’s of my life, and ending my evening with one of the Angel’s in my life. People like me who makes me feel that I am not alone. The people who has seen through my cold exterior.
I have taken quite some time to write lately until I found the voice of my heart. I wanted to prove that I am not only controlled by my Mind. But now I can actually feel it, there is nothing left for me to prove. People who know my warmth, kindness, and caring qualities. People who know that I listen and remember what they say. That I care when I ask them about how they are and think with them when something is bothering them. No pretence. I will never ask a question if I don’t care about your answer. I will always make time for a friend in need, no matter how busy my schedule is. So what if I don’t have time and energy to do that with everyone? The way to my heart is to be earned. It is my prerogative to decide whom to open the door to my house. My sanctuary. It’s as simple as that. End of story.
Happiness is when we are comfortable with the way we are. Having a peaceful mind is more powerful than any material things in life. If only everyone has a peaceful mind, there shall be no more wars.
(September 13, 2018)