The Moon

The moon on the bureau mirror

mirror

on the lake

But it could as well be the land instead

 

For the brightness of its presence

Was merely noticed in its absence

 

Yet silence is not the absence

It merely revealed its presence

 

The Sun loves the Moon so much that they will cover the whole world in darkness just to steal a moment together

Mankind was fascinated by this kind of love, they witnessed

But the world needs the light from both the Sun and the Moon

Time stood still for a moment

 

when they looked into each other’s eyes

 

Particles

I dreamt that I was driving along the coast of Monaco. The wind was dancing with my hair, the sea sound was kissing my ears. And I was free.

I could still taste the Montecristo. Its smell converging with the Chloe Absolu on the surface of my waters. Like the melting reflection of the moonlight, where I was you and you were me.

Words Worth Writing

We fly away

Higher and away from ourselves

 

***

 

I am the strangest bird one can find

“Rare” would be a diplomatic poetry

 

If I only understood what it is that my heart desires

It will be so much easier for those around me

 

***

 

It is just these little time that I spend with myself that

Reminds me of how much still, I cherish of this world

 

***

 

The only time I hear the sound of my Heart is through my creative writings. The moment my Mind gets involved, it becomes a research analysis.

 

 

Love

Outbound:

I am actually very lucky to have so many people who love me

To have so many people that I love

Even if sometimes my expectations are not met

It is better to have lived caring than unable to care at all

 

 

Inbound:

So many feelings confusing one to its core. Love is a complex phenomenon to be understood. It is the best feeling in the world but it can also torn one from the inside.

How often I have wished that I could be more selfish and irresponsible. But with freedom comes responsibilities. And if we only live for our own pleasures then what are we living for?

Always between countries, people, and feelings. The unique identity I shape.

If I can only put love out of the equation…

 

I would have been so much more happy

Sometimes I feel like the characters in my books were only created so I can be bold enough to solving my problems creatively. I fear for the ending where she would have been through the entire world and still end up accepting what was planned for her all along.

 

Sometimes I feel sad, not knowing if it’s for the characters of my books, or for me.

“I just want to live my life in accordance with the values I cherish, and the principles I hold dear, and none of which is motivated by money. I feel more deprived of freedom with money, and if losing all the money means that I can finally be free, then that is the choice I’ll make. Because I do not want to live a life planned for me, by others, without ever asking about what I want, without caring – without even thinking about what I want. I will not allow myself to be bought.” – Regina – who gave up everything to find her true self.

Heart

Many have asked me why I left this country I love so much. I have never really left. I simply embarked upon a journey – a quest one may say – in search of my heart. I have been feeling too cold in my Ice Palace, and went to a place more sunny to feel the warmth on my skin. To feel the warmth at all.

Sheryl Sandberg said that competent women are not considered as friendly. I made an effort to be both. But it is exhausting. Because there is a price we paid to become competent.

Someone once loved me while calling me stupid. I guess I purposely made him think that I can be underestimated. But the moment that he knew that I was smarter than him, it became exhausting for me to maintain the feelings felt.

It is not difficult to make a man feel like he is the King. But next to me, there is only place for the man confident enough not to feel threatened by everything that I am and not.

Despite that I get along with both men and women,

There shall only be place for one that I will be proud to call My Man.

Moonlight

The air that is light and free

Why must we chain ourselves to the heaviness of the earth?

 

The gravity that pulls us to the world

Wouldn’t it be nice to float even further and higher?

 

Where the air is thin and frail

Leaving no room for company

 

I do not mind my own solitude at all

I am only afraid of poor company

 

Turn back time

Turn back hearts

Turn back reality

Wash it all off

 

Into the depth of the endless ocean

Into the mirror of moonshine’s face

 

Into the light of Sun’s creation

To warm the Moon in her darkest hour

 

Mirror mirror on the wall

Why am I afraid for the frozen to be melt?

Freedom

A smile appeared on my face

The moment I spread my wings towards the sky

 

Freedom

Freedom

Freedom

 

Is what we pursue

Is what we fight for

Is what we die for

 

It is in the sky that I feel most at home

Belonging to no world

No country

No people

 

Just me and the air around me

Forgetting the world;

non-existing

 

Freedom

Freedom

Freedom

 

I am free at last

 

The world disappeared

 

I am finally home

Exhaustion

The games people play

Become a web of their own

For the last two years I have adopted a policy regarding romance. I have seen it working on others; but resultantly, it was never anything I could be interested in.

Manners manners make the man

And the woman

If men are truly that obvious, then I have to consider spending the rest of my life with myself. Because I will either be bored to death or die of exhaustion. And I love my life too much to have died without having lived to its fullest.

I guess there might have been things I wanted to prove to myself. But satisfying my ego never brought me real happiness. Now I have given my ego what it wanted, I am going to give my heart everything it desires.

When it’s a matter of the heart

It is a matter of life and death

I am going to take better care of myself. It is time I give myself a break from meeting other people’s expectations. It is time I stop feeding my ego’s expectations, because they will never satisfy my genuine happiness. They will never bring me to my heart’s desires.

My heart’s desires is a quest on its own. There are so many things she tried to whisper to my mind. My mind is finally making a list to take care of them. I am so very grateful to the experiences in the last few months, that forced me to look through the heart I had let freeze.

Melting hearts, stopping time

We never know when we are the happiest until it had past. But we know it instantly when we are unhappy. Yet, we allow ourselves to stay in the state of unhappiness out of fear for the unknown.

Most people around us are the ones reinforcing our status quo. Mindsets are hard to soar when we remain in the same environment. Even in a new environment, we subconsciously choose people that reinforces a certain part of our identity. Psychology was always an interesting subject. I just never chose to do anything with it.

That’s why lately I have been experimenting. My own feelings have made me decide to put all men in the friend-zone by default. If I ever meet someone who is comfortable enough about his true self around my true self, that shall be the soulmate I give up my single life for. Until then, nothing is worth considering my quality time. Even if it means I’ll be old and wrinkled and childless at some point. It is worse becoming attached and unhappy, than being happy and free in life.

I hope honesty is more liberating

Being my true and authentic self